leadership, Performance psychology, Self-help, Sports Psychology

Does Playing Sports Develop Character (Part Two)

Looking at the other side of the equation—playing sports may not be a vehicle for self-development. Why? There are many reasons, but I will speak to a few common ones:

  1. The player(s) never truly owns the experience
  2. The end is more important than the means
  3. A fixed mindset

In the first case, the driving need is one of approval. The individual lacks the autonomy to make their own decisions and the biggest payoff, most likely, is being in the good standing of another. The spectrum of how much freedom the individual surrenders is related to the power possessed by the one who actually calls the shots. While we may witness some success in such an authoritarian dynamic, the player does not own enough of themselves and their experience to develop an integrated and differentiated sense of self—the very stuff of character.

In the second case, the product or end-goal is the only thing that matters. Win at all costs, it’s a dog eat dog world, nice guys finish last, only the fittest survive… This is a very black and white perspective and it is hard to develop a sense of character when you see everyone as someone who can take something from you. As we have said many times in this venue, in competition you have nothing at the start and earn everything as you go. In any league or competition, only one gets the first-place trophy. While the ultimate prize is one of the goals, there must be other compelling reasons to play—the greatest being the opportunity and enjoyment of improving at what you love to do.

tournament brackets

The final case has to do with identity. One with a fixed mindset identifies with static qualities. This is the opposite of character which is developed over time and features many mistakes and re-aligning along the way.  According to Carol Dweck, a competitor with a fixed mindset avoids challenges, ignores negative feedback, sees talent as static and effort as fruitless, gives up easily, and is threatened by the success of others. This person identifies with a very rigid sense of success and does not seize the opportunity afforded in the process of overcoming challenges.

While there are different perspectives, one that focuses solely on competence and accomplishment and ignores the development of character seems limiting. After all, who you are at the core will be who you are in all your other roles. And there is no conflict between fierce competitiveness and fairness, intensity and sportsmanship, toughness and respect. Interestingly, those who look to be the best understand they need the best of others to help them get there. This goes back to the true meaning of the word compete: to strive together. For everything, at some level exists in a relationship. And you can’t develop competence without the consistent challenge provided by the best efforts in others.

 

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services pricing (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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leadership, Performance psychology, Sports Psychology

Does Playing Sports Develop Character? (Part One)

Research, anecdotal evidence, and individual experiences point to both sides of the question above: Sports can develop character—and not. The answers arise from intention on every level, the organization, the team, the coach, and the player.

The title of the blog came from personal experience with development. Sports consumed me at an early age and when I wasn’t playing it took a great effort to not think of the next time I would be playing. But, having something to look forward served a purpose. Here, my own intentions were born and years later the realization that lessons learned on the field of play could apply above and beyond.

art background brick brick texture
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I was in my third decade as an athlete when I intentionally made a list of all the things I learned while practicing and competing. By way of example, here are just a few:

  • You get what you give
  • Without a vision, you end up in a stream of others who don’t know where they are heading
  • If you play for approval, you will never own your experiences
  • You are accountable for your actions
  • If you cheat on the field, you cheat in life
  • Without a specific plan, you don’t achieve your potential
  • Surround yourself with people who believe in the same principles of development

The list goes on and on. One time I asked someone to look at my list. They remarked that I must’ve had a great teacher. I nodded and smiled even though we were thinking of different things. I didn’t grow up with the resources for coaching or clinics, camps or private lessons. But, I did have a deep desire to figure it out and a few good books.

One of the pivotal moments in life occurs when you realize the responsibility you have for your life. It intensifies further when you become responsible for relationships—and the lives of others. As a player it is easy to be self-centered, to stay firmly in the groove of life as a one-way street. The development of character takes an intense turn with the discovery that life—sports and otherwise—is truly a two-way journey. There is receiving and giving, and influence extends beyond our personal goals momentary choices. In that pivot, intention shifts and the process—more than any outcome— becomes immensely valuable. For it is a measure of who you are in the moment.

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services pricing (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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Performance psychology, Sports Psychology

Distraction or…?

The human body is an open system. Our “roots” are only symbolic and movement is a primary principle one of our systems. If we sit in one space (without the help of others) we will never make it as we have to move to survive. And our bodies and minds follow the “use it or lose it” principle.

In an open system, we are able to use, learn, develop, and enhance our internal environment with aspects from the external environment—including other individuals. On some level the inner-outer boundary is arbitrary, but one thing is for sure: being open brings both opportunities for growth, but also positions of vulnerability.

The need for self-awareness is key, for this quality is the true gatekeeper. All experience effects, some more than others. But to know what sustains versus what drains is the essence of the gatekeeper.

There are two ways to assess moving towards a vision and actualizing what one believes to be potential. One is by what is happening and the other by what is not happening. Interestingly, both can be sources of vulnerability, both can infiltrate and decrease the quality of an open system.

4k-wallpaper-clock-countdown-1447235

Photo by Lukasz Dziegel from Pexels

 

First, what is happening can become mindless and routine. Worst, it can become too comfortable. We like to do what we like to do. But, discomfort and frustration are an inevitable part of the pathway to development and confidence—and resilience.

Second, what is not happening can be so far under the radar that it only reaches self-awareness when the course/progress/outcomes have radically shifted. In this area, distractions can be a major detractor to development. Distractions can feel good in the moment and are not inherently bad. Most distractions are fairly neutral, and this is a reason why we may not notice until something is not happening.

If you are wondering about your own distractions, ask yourself these questions:

Tools: Am I using tools to plan, track and monitor? Am I using these tools regularly to reflect on what is important and what I really want to give my time to? If not, what is in the way?

Technology: Am I becoming too immersed in my technology/social media? A few minutes here and there can gain momentum and become something much larger in terms of time investment. While technology is not going away, it has to have its place in the overall scheme. Most time on technology is a quick burst for the reward centers. These can become major distractions.

Time: At the end of the day/practice/competition did I give my time (invest) in what I say truly matters? If so, then this builds motivation, confidence, and momentum. If not, look at the who or what or how of time spent. What do you notice?

 

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services pricing (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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Performance psychology, Sports Psychology

Worked–Needs Work

If you have your goals for the year written and envisioned for where you want to be, who you want in your circle, and what you want to accomplish, then it becomes easier to find the point of greatest leverage: Right now.

What can you do right now to align with and move towards your vision?

The answer to this is simply: the process of improvement. I use the word, simply, because it is important to keep it simple. So:

  • Keep your goals with you
  • Look at them regularly—daily or more if you need to
  • Decide what to do today
  • Make the connection between the plan and the process
  • During practice reps, focus on the process—the how of what you are working on

 

At the end of the day, it is extremely important to enlist the power of reflection. Taking the time to consider what you have given your time to reinforces that the process has been meaningful. You are sending important messages to the meaning centers of the brain when you take the time to reflect on what matters. This strengthens connections (mind and muscle memory) and stokes motivation.

Following practice or competitions, a simple method of accountability, as well as an important way to keep track of trends, is the following:

  • Make two columns in your journal or in your progress notebook
  • Label one column: Worked
  • Label the second Column: Needs Work
  • Reflect back on your goals

 

Basic RGB
What works (+)? What needs to change (Delta)?

You will find that you will begin to look at the parts of practice (or competition) differently and be able to integrate these aspects into the bigger picture. Under Worked, consider what improved, what felt in synch, solid, and repeatable. Under Needs Work, track what did not meet expectations, felt less than steady, or what you need to continue to give attention to. From this simple system, you can stay aligned and on target, and plan your next practice session.

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services, visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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Delta Image Created by Rawpixel.com – Freepik.com

leadership, Performance psychology, Sports Psychology

A Different Take on Sideline Leadership

Some media have taken an understanding of Coach Nick Saban’s tantrum during the Alabama-Oklahoma semifinal as a sign of a leader’s high expectations and demanding excellence. Up 28-10 nearing the end of the half, the Tide made errors that led to consecutive penalties and Saban’s vigorous, demolishing spike of his headset. The misunderstood genius is an old and tattered card, and underneath the words and actions, something else lurks that deserves some light.

If you caught the face of the young man (a close-up followed the headset explosion) who drew the flag, he had already paid his penance. No one felt worse and his face showed his disappointment in himself and letting his teammates down. If you have played teams sports, this sits heavy. Like the stages of grief, you wish you could take it back and the road to acceptance and being ready for the next play is difficult enough. Nothing feels better than your teammates saying, “I got you…it’s all good,” especially the ones with “C” on their jerseys. The gesture says we all have been there, this too shall pass, and we are moving on. Forgiven and forgotten—for that is all you can do anyway.

What is missing in the explanations and rationalizations of the action is the poor insight of the moment within the bigger picture. I am sure the coaching staff sat in this young man’s living room, recruiting him with promises of looking after him like a son…

headphones

I’m not arguing Saban’s success or his net worth. I am saying that if you preach “the process” then mistakes are part of this methodology, part of the learning process. Smashing headphones is a choice based on an outcome. It is an ego-centered move that diminishes and shows up individuals who are giving blood and bone to the process. It says I do not have to respect you but you must respect me or I will smash these headphones to get your attention. And I am sure, in this impulsive gesture, not a thought was given to the fact that the headset could possibly cost more than some of the Alabama parents have in a year’s worth of disposable income.

While I respect how other media have approached this situation, and glamorized and made humor for the headset (moment of silence for the headset, haha), it is only part of a story. Underneath the outcomes are the values and assumptions that motivate choice. If a middle-aged man can act impulsively and from the anger of things not going his way, how is this a measure of the leadership we aspire to model for the ones we lead?

Call it what it is. Be honest. It ain’t about the process. It’s the outcome. Just win at all costs. And the few grand of a new headset seems a paltry price when you consider the cost of the meta-message of leadership. Every choice has a consequence whether you wish to address it, name it, forgive it, apologize for it—or not.

There is an old adage that nothing fails like success. And sometimes this speaks to more than just the numbers.

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services, visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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Performance psychology, Self-help, Sports Psychology

One Thing

Each year, more and more information reveals the workings of our mind, the brain, and all of its centers. And generally speaking, the brain mirrors who we are: generalists with specialists supporting what matters most. In other words, there are only a few major sources of motivation and we require different skills and abilities to make this happen. These capacities can be developed, but only with specific intentions.

First, having a plan reduces anxiety as it creates an internal sense of control. Further, having written goals and a system of accountability promotes achievement. What both of these ideas have in common is focusing valuable resources in a particular direction. In other words, in the sea of possibilities, our entire being works more efficiently when there is a clear sense of purpose.

black ball point pen on white notebook
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The greatest strategy for achievement is to focus intently on one thing. Research points to the fact that we cannot multi-task. Interestingly, those who think they are good at multi-tasking actually performed worse than those who did not think they were good at it.

So much for clarity!

While much of our consciousness is on auto-pilot, this state of being frees up energy and focus for what we truly want to attend to. But, often in practice or in competitions we do what we always have done and miss the opportunity of deliberate practice and progress.

So, as 2019 begins, make it a point to ride the power of a clear plan. Before practice, very simply decide what you are going to improve. Write it down. A journal is great for this process as well as for accountability. Eliminate distractions—try to make the practice place a space dedicated to your process, meaning you are there for one reason, one thing only. Ask, how will I know I improved? At the end of practice, revisit the goals and assess. What you will notice is as you make this a habit, your practices:

  • Look different, have more variety, and don’t feel exactly the same
  • You improve in the short-term incrementally
  • Momentum builds and skills (mental and physical) begin to transform
  • Your choices reflect these changes and reinforce them

One thing that is a very important effect of this method, is that we are no longer hampered, held-back or disillusioned by labels and rationalizations. There is much more of an open-ended, process-oriented feel to this method that makes static observations less likely (“I had a bad day.”). You don’t have to blame, shame, make excuses or give in because every day is an opportunity to take a step forward.

Happy New Year and all the best in 2019!

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services, visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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Performance psychology, Sports Psychology

Seasons

In every sport or endeavor, there are natural ups and downs in terms of training and competing. The holiday season and the year-end are natural breaks in a 12-month plan and a perfect time for reflection. One of the great tasks of any individual or team is to make enough space to truly see where and who we have been, and what we have accomplished. With this space, we can truly be objective about our plan, goals, and progress. We can look back with clarity to move forward in a purposeful way.

autumn avenue bench fall
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Many years ago I sustained a knee injury that changed my life in the moment, as well as the arc of my life. The surgery did not go well and what was to be an 8-week recovery turned into 18 months of “inactivity.” No blame is being cast here, but I discovered years later through a second surgery that the original one was botched. It is easy to feel cheated and perhaps seek restitution. But my faith is such that when you start blaming it never stops and the idea of litigation answered nothing for me.

And, though this occurred decades ago, those 18 months proved to be one of the most valuable “seasons” of my adult life. How could I feel slighted?

During those 18 months I lost: the ability to do what I loved the most, time with people that I trained with and cared about, income, and, most importantly, time.

You can’t ever get these precious things back. But, what I received instead was of incredible value. Why?

When you are completely removed from the world you know, you are in the ultimate unknown, and in the greatest space between who you are, where you have been, and where you are going. In this space of loss, I gained a new wider and deeper perspective on life. It is easy when things are going well to think the future will bring more of the same. And it’s easy to lose the value of the moment, of gratitude, and of purpose.

When I was finally able to play again, it was truly playful. I was better than I had been prior and more successful as well. How could that be?

I never stopped.

During those 18 months I “played” every day, and more importantly, in that space, I saw who I wasn’t, but deeply wanted to be. The mind is powerful and the greatest accomplishments start in the infinite field of consciousness, above the field of play. This field is open to all.

Now I am not proposing that you get injured. The story above also includes chapters on heartache, lost opportunities, other injuries related to the first one, activities that I could not physically do with my sons, and eventually a total knee replacement earlier this year. I would not wish this on anyone.

My wish for you is to make the space during this natural downturn, and in that time reflect deeply. Find the gratitude, discover the play in your activity, capture the imagination of your childhood and create a plan that inspires you.

I wish you well and may 2019 be truly what you wish.

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services, visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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