Coaching, leadership, Performance psychology, Self-help, Sports Psychology

Reflective Coaching Practices II

Regardless of the endeavor, without a compelling “why” the energy required for change and progress will fade. Motivation is emotion in motion. It is the fuel that connects the present to the future and the creative power for imagining possibilities. While we have to practice in the present and do the little things, these little things can’t become bigger things without a bigger sense of self. This is direction in action.

So, the second reflective practice focuses on making sense of motivation in the present with an eye on the future:

Reflect on the Motivational Level. What was the connection between my motivation and the player’s (or team’s)? Motivation links to goals and vision. It answers the “Why” of what you are doing and why you are devoting precious time to an activity. Being honest in this space helps curtail plateaus and regressions. Being clear about motivation reduces conflict and manipulation. The coach’s (or program’s) motivation can either align with a player’s motivation or create negative tension. One of the most important responsibilities of a coach is to help players clarify their vision of a future self—without creating a clone of the coach or the system. This process then amplifies the collaboration and promotes aligned communication rather than becoming a misaligned power struggle.

In summary, reflecting on motivation connects the immediate with the future. Being clear on motives and aligning visions is part of pathfinding and eliminating wasteful obstacles and wrong turns.

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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Photo credit: (unsplash.com) Gautier Salles

Coaching, leadership, Performance psychology, Sports Psychology

Reflective Coaching Practices

The expression, “Nothing fails like success” offers a good mental space to reflect on what is working, not working, and why. And the connection to the future. The mind loves and thrives on patterns. It does its best to regulate and create equilibrium. But once a pattern becomes so engrained on the level of unconscious competence, we can easily confuse the sense of automaticity with balance. In other words, there is a significant difference between static and dynamic balance along the growth curve. 

Reflective coaching practices go beyond the data that describe aspects of practices and performances. It’s an exercise in quality that unlocks potential for the coach—and the athlete. Data and outcomes often miss the relationship between the context and the content. Data has to be abstracted from the whole. Reflective practices look at the whole. Data is often isolated and limited in scope. Reflected practices are inside-out and broad in scope. Both are useful, yet the latter is less used. Over the next few posts, we will look at these reflective coaching practices that have the potential to increase the quality of what is given and received in the player-coach relationship. 

Each reflective practice starts with a question that opens the internal dialogue critical to the powers of reflection. Leading off, and perhaps the most important:  

Reflect on the Emotional Level. What was the emotional tone of today’s coaching experience? Broadly, every practice or teaching session has an emotional valence. While we may experience the ups and downs during a session, there tends to be an overall tone of negativity or positivity.

Emotions move us and send meaningful messages in the moment and emotional intelligence is fundamental to our awareness of self and others. At a very basic level, our emotions are either managed or they manage us. Reflecting on the emotional information and tone of the practice increases our understanding of the learning conditions we create, as well as the ability to tolerate the roller-coaster of a very challenging task: improving. This implies we can both grow—player and coach—within the practice space.

Lastly, emotions also tell us if we are immersed in meaning. If the practice or performance was flat, chances are the opportunity the event presented wasn’t fully engaged. Looking backward from future self emphasizes that the path is short. Hockey legend and all-time leading scorer, Wayne Gretsky, emphasized this when he talked about skating each shift like it were your last. As a competitive athlete there is always the chance it could be. Injury highlights this point. And as Gretzky states, each shift is one shift closer to the last one.

Opportunities are not infinite. Such is meaning and such is the importance of emotion. Everything we do is connected to something we value. Reflecting on this and connecting to the emotional background of our efforts vitalizes the challenges and victories and, importantly, connects the short and long-term vision.

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services pricing (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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Images credits (Unsplash.com): Mario Azzi, Roger Bradshaw, Donald Giannatti, JC Dela Cuesta

Performance psychology, Sports Psychology

Mastery at the Masters

The even, consistent, and record-setting performance of Dustin Johnson over four days at the 2020 Masters is a tribute to the many little things he has done over a very long time. His first “Green Jacket” is proof that for the biggest goals we have in life, we can put in the effort, but the outcome has many moving parts beyond our control. In other words, despite the meticulous crafting and visioning of dreams and goals we don’t get to pick exactly “when” it happens.

In the fading light of the singular Autumn finish, Johnson described his childhood dream of winning the Masters, having grown up a short ride away in South Carolina. This brings to the light the second aspect of the dream turned major goal: While trying to describe the feeling of his accomplishment, Johnson paused several times to gather himself. He remarked that he didn’t know why he was having such a hard time remaining composed. He even compared his ability to remain even on the course in the heat of the world’s best competition to the moment which seemed, on the surface, just an interview.

The flood of emotions is in proportion to meaning. And meaning is proportional to the tireless pursuit, the victories and adversity, the effort given consistently and intently over time. This is the process, and it ensues for years before the outcome is realized. And when this goal is reached it becomes an inflection point in lives and careers, a timestamp of purposeful living. You feel alive.

I offer this in a time when many are struggling to find meaning, and live as if life is meaningless. And for this assumption, the individual feels less than alive. Take away the golf, the exquisite backdrop of Augusta National, and you have a father trying to find his way. I don’t know Dustin Johnson, but I find it interesting that 30 of his 49 top three finishes, 15 of his 24 wins, and his two major victories have come after becoming a father.

You can argue “an athlete’s prime” or “putting it all together” or “realizing potential” but history is filled with the same narrative—right up to that inflection point that changes a career from good to great. Then the stories are far fewer—the ones like Johnson’s.

As a father and for fathers, I can say that a growing family makes life more complex. But on a deeper level you find you have more and can give more. And the more you give, the more you can give. And it’s easier to let go, tune in, and tune out what doesn’t seem to matter anymore. Not when you look at your children, into the eyes full of life and potential you are now responsible for.

Perhaps it is there, in this gaze you find your own potential staring back at you.

Not sure if this is true for Dustin Johnson. Hard to say. And hard to find the words for something so transforming. Perhaps that’s how he felt when he struggled to do something as simple as speak about four rounds of golf. Maybe the hallowed grounds of Augusta framed the sacred space of a father and a professional overcome by meaning.  Maybe… 

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services pricing (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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photo credits: Marc Clinton Labiano (unsplash.com)

Coaching, Performance psychology, Sports Psychology

Mental Stretching

One indicator of a Performance Mindset is how the athlete meets the moment in terms of change and adaptation. This would include development in any area of performance as well as to obstacles growth and execution. We could look at these situations as windows of opportunity in the present, short-term or farther out on the growth curve. There are two things to consider:

  1. Change and continuity
  2. Flow of energy and information

On some level, the moment is an expression of who we are and of our present mindset. It reveals what we are capable of right now. If improvement is simply doing the same thing better, we will hit a barrier to growth. A function of the Performance Mindset is to be equipped to adapt during times of plateau and challenge. For those who rely solely on resilience (getting through or toughing it out), the problem or situation re-presents itself and we continue to hit the same wall. We simply do not have the ability to “solve” the situation.

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Change and adaptation is about solving this problem on a new level. Yes, we change but we keep our sense of self and all the things that worked prior to meeting the new edge of growth. This sense of continuity is important and is how we can “tell the story” of our developmental arc. We look back and see “ourselves” and how we changed, how we improved.

Also, we see our sport in a new way. Our perspective changes. It includes where we have been (continuity) but allows us to go beyond the edges of our capability (change and adaptation) in a new form. This aspect of mindset speaks of openness and flexibility. We have to be open to the uniqueness of experience and the arc of growth—and to pursue to the edges of our awareness and skills. And we have to be flexible enough the bend, let go, and evolve with the demand.

Stretching routines are not just for the body. When we are not mentally open and flexible, we close the mind to the flow of energy and information. The required demands remain beyond the edges of our present mindset. Nothing flows. We keep rigid boundaries and ideas. We do not improve. We get similar results. We recycle the same processes.

We will look at the Performance Mindset in greater detail over the next few posts. For now, when you hit a wall or seem to be locked in the same pattern ask: Am I being open and flexible to the challenge?

 

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services pricing (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

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photo credits: Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash (unspash.com)

Coaching, leadership, Sports Psychology

Coaching Young Children

Recently I started coaching a middle-schooler who was new to the game of tennis. I did my usual assessment of skills and was pleasantly surprised given his lack of on-court experience. He’d taken a few lessons at another club and about halfway into the lesson he started sharing some of the negativity that came his way during that time. These were global comments on his ability based on what seemed to be a small sample size.

Criticizing other coaches is not helpful. But this boy was simply doing something very human—dealing with the confusion of experiences. In this case, his venting helped clear the space for a fresh start which is important to the learning process. You can’t have two competing self-concepts (“I am not very good” and “I am learning and improving”) in mind and expect to be present.

I have enjoyed coaching him and, interestingly, what started as a “just a couple of lessons” turned into a “We’d like to continue.” I offer this piece of information because it speaks to his parent’s tentativeness based on the previous experience. No different than any other relationship. I don’t think I’ve ever answered more questions prior to a first lesson. It felt like an interview for a defense department security clearance. And for good reason!

Because everyone is someone’s son or daughter.

And making that connection helps you to make some space between your plan, your needs, and to see that you are responsible for someone’s child.

kelly-sikkema-WRByZhruW6o-unsplash girl with racket

Notice that the title of this piece is “Coaching Young Children” and when we use this term we often think of little ones— four, five, six, seven-year-olds… But the point is we all share the same emotions and express the same feelings. They are child-like and nearly entirely nonverbal. Sure, the expressions may seem more mature as we age, and the context may be more complex. But there is a good reason why the emotional areas of the brain develop first and before we can even use words. Because it all comes down to meaning, something we feel and something very hard to explain. Every experience has meaning even if we deem it to be meaningless.

Coaching a young child, a middle-schooler or an adult may look different on the surface, but at the core it’s pretty much the same. It’s an experience based on understanding and connection. You can’t learn, grow or develop without meaning. In other words, changing anything whether it is wiring muscle memory or rewiring the idea you have of your potential as a tennis player, is expensive. It’s costly in terms of effort and time, and it’s fueled by motivation—the core of which is emotion in motion. Notice that motivation, emotion, motion, and motive all share the same root. The source is the same and nothing happens unless emotion fuels the process. We like to think that logic dictates. But the hard challenges we take on don’t often make sense from the outside. And it’s because the motivation will always be a unique fire and a singular experience for the individual.

 

If you would like more structure to take your mental approach to the next level, consider picking up a copy of my new sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services pricing (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

cover shot

photo credits: Kelly Sikkema (unspash.com)