Tag: self-awareness

leadership, Mental Health, Performance psychology

Pressure

Dr. John Panepinto

Recently, one of the greatest athletes in the history of sports had a meltdown during an important stretch of one of the most important events of the year. Purposely, I am not naming names, because it doesn’t matter. This player is a champion who does the work, puts in the time and effort, and has a superior mental attitude. If there is such a thing as checking all the boxes, this athlete does it in every way possible.

Still, pressure caused an eruption, an emotional volcano, and a temporary lapse of direction.

I offer this piece for one reason.

The work is never done.

If you think fear is outgrown, or that demons can be locked away in the attic, or negativity is for the weak-minded—think again.

Everything exists in the tension of opposites.

You can’t set a goal without some sense of what failure is. You can’t perform well without knowing what poor performance is. You can’t be positive without the counterforce of negativity. You can’t make a good choice without knowing what the wrong one is. And conscience is all about informing us of darkness and light.

The heroic only occurs with a dragon to face up to. Pretending there aren’t any dragons is a fatal flaw. There will always be obstacles. The greater the task or adventure the more obstacles there will be. And the greatest challenge will be the one inside you. Best to be prepared rather than hope the obstacles don’t appear. Or worse, making believe they don’t exist.  

Take your mental approach to the next level with my sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

Photo credits: Ben Turnbull; Caroline Pimenta; Gabriella Clare Marino– Unsplash.com

Coaching, leadership, Performance psychology

Self-Talk

Dr. John Panepinto

I have stated (and others as well) in other works that self-talk is important for your internal environment, and helpful when it is positive and productive. In other words, we don’t need to keep our focus on the problem and what isn’t working because it’s very easy to get caught there. Positive and productive defines a “solutions focus,” which places valuable attention on adjusting and moving forward. It keeps us in a state of openness and a willingness to adapt.  

Sometimes self-talk reveals deeper patterns, so simply turning a negative into a positive has a good chance of failing. This falls in line with developments in the last few decades that focus on strategies, tools, and techniques rather than depth, intuition, development, and insight. The latter leads to understanding and alignment, meaning every part of us is in one place, with one intention, and heading in one direction.  

Importantly, anything we apply without understanding (tools, strategies, and techniques) to a complex situation rarely works long-term. These applications are always secondary because actions follow beliefs. In other words, actions and choices follow the prevailing mindset.  

Self-talk without understanding becomes empty words. Worse, you may feel more like a fraud. You can say, “I am a winner” in the mirror a thousand times, but that action won’t have much effect. Sure, it’s positive and affirming, but beneath the surface and under pressure the first two words twist into a question: “Am I…a winner?”  

Self-talk can be hindering, but it’s not just about the words. The mindset working beneath the surface needs to be tuned and updated, and maybe even some significant knots to be untied. Spending time examining history, and the beliefs and assumptions about actions and consequences is a reflective process vital to a growth mindset. A mindset that continues to develop and supports healthy and effective actions. Reflection is a solitary activity. A ritual well worth having. It’s like having a good talk with yourself.

Take your mental approach to the next level with my sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

 

Coaching, leadership, Performance psychology

Progressing

Dr. John Panepinto

There are two main types of progressions in building any sort of capacity—physical or mental. These progressions follow developmental stages and it’s good to know the pattern beforehand. It can save a lot of headaches and needless repetition—even keep you from giving up when you are just a step away from an important goal.  

The first progression is incremental growth. Skills, knowledge, and habits are gradually improving and it’s an additive process. This represents little steps headed in the direction of an important change. More information or efficiency has been added to your present level of performance in a skill or strategy.  

The second progression is transformative growth. This happens far less often and represents a significant change in mindset or ability. Something “clicks,” or you have a realization—an “ah-ha” moment that rearranges you on a significant level, a way of being, or a way of doing changes in quality. You see what you didn’t see before. You can do things autonomously and have created even more space for growth.  

Both progressions are important. But you can’t experience transformative growth without the small steps of incremental growth. This is the most important reason that every moment matters. Every bit of attention we pay to a process matters. Every practice matters. And then, every reflection on a practice or performance, or experience matters.  

When this makes sense, there are no good or bad days. We may say we had a “good day” or a “bad day” as a social convention but internally we know better. Every day has the seeds of growth. It all depends on what you give your attention to, and the price you pay in time, energy, and purpose.

Take your mental approach to the next level with my sports psychology workbook: Above the Field of Play. Or to learn about other sports psychology services (including an assessment of your present mental approach), visit my website at DrJohnPanepinto.com.

Photo credit: Jeff Ochoa–Unsplash.com

Coaching, leadership, Performance psychology

The Fundamental Habit

Dr. John Panepinto

One habit stands above all others—or should I say below. It provides the foundation for meeting the moment and applies to all roles and situations. In one of the most important books ever written, Man’s Search for Meaning, holocaust survivor Dr. Viktor Frankl, offered that our greatest freedom is our power to choose our attitude.

In this sense, attitude is not referring to the popular use of the word (“You have a bad attitude”). It’s not a descriptor. Attitude is the direction we are pointed in, meaning we intentionally choose our movement into future. We have no control of the great complexity we meet in the world—except how we choose to act. 

The space between what we perceive and how we respond is the essence of a human being becoming. The habit of entering that space is the greatest of all. Disciplines that teach us to rein in the wild horses of the mind begin with this intention. To honor this space. 

The ways to reach this space are few and the obstacles are many. In a world that reflexively searches for answers with deft thumbs misses something critical…  The search for meaning does not have an algorithm. Reflection and contemplation happen in silence, stillness, and solitude.

Those three “S” words make many shudder.

In the role of athlete, coach, or parent, the space for our greatest habit can grow giving more perspective and more room for developing knowledge and skills. If this space doesn’t grow, we repeat the past. Or we act out scripts without our names in the byline.

And that makes me shudder.

(This post originally appeared in A Father’s Path and was edited to suit for athletes and coaches)

images credit: J. Plenio (J Plenio Photography) and Daniel Gonzalez (unsplash)

Coaching, leadership, Performance psychology, Sports Psychology

Complexity

Dr. John Panepinto

(estimated 2-3 minute read time)

One of the many questions I ask clients may sound borrowed from a job interview: “What do you see in five years…?” But really, it’s a question of an internal–view. The answers range from rich to vague and confused. And that question helps frame the next one: “When you look back on your life over the past five years…?

The day-to-day and the year-to-year can have the flavor of familiarity. Patterns abound. But there’s a process below the surface that speaks to the complexity of life. As you move forward with an aim, you are steeped in complexity beyond imagination. The further out or bigger the goal, the more complexity factors in.

What that translates to is people, things, obstacles, and events that are not in your present experience. If you look back five years, chances are high (regardless of whether you set an ambitious goal or not) that there are people that are in or out of your life, and events and problems that occurred that you didn’t foresee.  

This is one of the understated reasons why individuals don’t set goals or don’t set them too far out. The complexity can be overwhelming. And the courage and imagination to set the vision high can be daunting. Security, safety, and the known will always whisper in your ear to stay put. But this process of imagining a future self is the way that we develop the inner qualities to rise to the goal or vision.

Setting long-term major goals and creating a vision of your future self is the essence of evolution. If you consider who you would be if you became this future self, you have tapped into a deeper process of self-realization. Then the key is to hold this vision both loosely and in the present. Loosely because complexity will emerge with your first step forward. Think of your vision as a point on the horizon. You see the point in the distance within the enormity of the whole perspective, but details are vague.

And holding this vision “in the present” provides an internal compass regardless of the complexity of the situation. Responding and adapting to complexity (demanding, growing), and holding your vision (devotion) in the present will inform your smallest goals, decisions, and the way you problem-solve through obstacles.

photo credit: Tim Johnson (unsplash)